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He doesn't know what happened, but gladly cleans everything up.

Only then, we hear a car drive by, with people yelling in Russian the maintenance people.

This is a stinky smear, some really smelly shit ground into the carpet.

We finally made our way up to the bedroom of one of Stephanie's absent roommates to make out.

After the girl left the next morning, I go out into the common area to wake up my roommate so he can clean up the room.

I packed a bag and stayed at a friend's dorm for the next 3 nights.

I had my eyes on a good-looking guy dressed as Tyler Durden whose name now escapes me.

After laughing about it with him for a while, I decide to hit the shower not the one he was in the night before , only to find that my shower sandals had shit all over them.

He and I had some interesting political discussions this was mere days before the 2004 presidential elections , but I blew it when I got too drunk, things weren't happening, and I declared to him and everyone else within earshot, "I'm gonna hook up with someone tonight! Bob was unusually tall and I am somewhat unusually short, but we hit it off and by the time someone I hope whoever it was wasn't too drunk drove us all home, Bob and I were snuggling in the car and then on the couch of my best friend's living room.

It felt awesome — I hadn't had a romantic or sexual experience of any kind for almost a year.

There's only one problem: As soon as I opened the door, the smell of shit hit our nostrils.